Right now, somewhere in the world, in your town, in your neighborhood, possibly in your home or family . . . there is a pedophile judging YOU for how you live your life, how you look, the choices you make, the way you vote, the things you believe or don’t, and the friends you keep. For being “different” from them in any number of ways. THERE IS AT LEAST ONE. At least. And you don’t know WHO this pedophile is, and you never will. Most pedophiles go about undetected by their nearest and dearest, let alone the outer tiers of their circles. So, you’ll likely NEVER guess who it is. That’s irrelevant, for the purposes of this thought. What IS relevant, is that THEY ARE JUDGING *YOU* FOR BEING THE *BEST* PERSON YOU CAN BE, while indulging in crimes against the weakest, most defenseless segment of humanity. Sometimes to the point of pain, physical/emotional damage, and even death, whether by extreme physical damage or later suicide.
Now, I don’t know most of you well enough to know what really gets your goat. So, feel free to change “pedophile” to “Nazi (-sympathizer),” “rapist,” “murderer,” “animal abuser,” “serial spousal-abuser,” “serial-murderer,” or “continued Trump supporter.” Whatever seems wrongest and douchiest and most harmful to you. Just replace “pedophile” with that.
And sit with the realization for a few minutes.
Then ask yourself how feasible it is to care/bow to what most of those closest to you think about your life and choices. Never mind those you only know through circumstance or as acquaintances. Just tackle your neighborhood, for now. Your house. Your family. Your closest friends, chosen and happenstance.
At least ONE.
As important as it is to evaluate our own mores and opinions and actions — our deepest held beliefs and desires and goals — it is at LEAST as important to do the same with others. Especially those we trust most. Trust is wonderful, but it confers automatic stealth to some shitty people who really don’t deserve it and would never GET it if anyone knew that in private/under the radar they were/practiced X, Y, and Z.
At least ONE, for each and every single person on the planet. At. LEAST.
I’m sorry, if you’re feeling the import and impact of that like a freight-train to the face. And I’m also not. Maybe sit down for a couple minutes. And remind yourself that for every ONE like that, there is an equal and opposite, hopefully. The kind of person who’s a warrior and champion of good and caring and kindness. An angel for every devil.
Remind yourself, but always keep in mind the underside of that hope and the cloud atop that silvery lining. That for every angel, there IS a devil. It’s the sort of shitty balance that people think is somehow preordained or planned by a Universal Parent Figure. Whatever. And I don’t know what the actual numbers are, for “Angel v. Devil.” It’s a fight I can’t call and couldn’t, even with all the appropriate numbers and statistics. But it IS a fight. And it’s closer than you think. It is a REAL WAR, even though there’s no UPF. No Santy-Claws, no Tooth Fairy, no Johnny Appleseed (wait — no, there’s actually evidence, for that guy), and no UPF. And at the end of the day, that doesn’t even matter, other than how said nonexistent UPF is used to excuse terrible behaviors.
But the WAR between our best selves and our worst — and the largely wussy, middle, middling eighty percent that’s just mediocre, half-assed, and fence-sitting . . . who doesn’t have an ounce of courage or conviction, and from which I don’t feel comfortable excusing myself, and may never — is happening. It always has been. It always will be, because we are human and fallible. It is IMPORTANT that that remains SOMEWHERE in you, even if it’s in the very backest bottom of your mind. We are fallible.
And that, in itself, is no excuse to not try, and EVERY REASON to start, or keep on.
Pedophiles are judging us. Thieves and killers and warmongers are judging us. Suppressing us. Threatening us with our own “helplessness” to keep silent. They secretly live lives of moral squalor and destitution . . . and THEY judge US.
You know this now. You knew it before, but now, it’s in writing, so it has a bit more weight, I hope. Or will, at some point.
Some of the righteous shouting “j’accuse!” and calling you out for eternal Hellfire . . . are diddling toddlers. Chew on that. I mean, SOME of them aren’t, but “any” is FAR too many, I hope you’ll agree.
You can’t always spot them and may never. But they see YOU. And they level judgment. Their glass houses are letting in all the elements and they’re still winding up with their next rock or brick. And they’re aiming at YOU and everything you stand for and hold dear.
Sometimes, righteousness starts not with standing up to them or because of them, but in spite of them. Keeping your head up and doing good is what matters. What matters is standing. Speaking. Acting. Caring. And NOT CARING what other people think when you know in your heart — and by the smiles of gratitude and renewed faith in the eyes of someone for whom YOU’VE DONE GOOD — that you’re being the BEST YOU. The kind you. The empathetic you. The JUST you.
So, you DO you. Go out into the world and behave as you most see fit. And don’t worry about what every ONE else thinks or does, or how they’re judging you. Because right now, they might be tying a domesticated animal who trusts them and loves them on top of their car for a cross-country trip. Or donating/campaigning/stumping for Trump 2020.
You just never know, is all I’m sayin’.
So, you might as well do your best whenever you can, no matter what, and let the j’accusers j’accuse (because j’accusers GONNA j’accuse, feel me?). Eventually, their busted glass houses will collapse on them in a BEAUTIFUL hail of glass-shards and poor construction. And they’ll still be calling YOU “sinner/Hellbound” with their final, gurgled-out breath.
Let that last gurgle go unacknowledged and unheard, into the void where it belongs.
Just a thought.