Black Men: Black Women Are NOT Your Enemy or the Doormat Place-Holders For Your Future White Wives.

From an amazing response to a post and series of comments on’s article on Donald Glover being touted as the anti-Kanye and the double standard regarding Black men who date white women and Black women who date white (or any) non-Black men.

The permalink below is to the comment by which I was so impressed and moved, but the article itself is at the top of the same page.

My reply to this comment — with the portions I found most relevant quoted in my reply— follows:

“Thank you.

Ignoring the fact that white women supported Trump 53%, ignoring stories like the white girl who tried to poison her black roommate and got off with a slap on the wrist, or white women like Bethany Storro who injure themselves, blame jealous black women, then plead insanity when caught, ignoring that the common denominator of all the most recent instances of black people having cops called on them for no reason were instigated by white women, ignoring black women’s long and tired history of fighting with white women in the feminism movement, if you want to start on black women’s fraught history with white women, and the ways in which they enact racism against us, here’s a few articles you could’ve easily looked up yourself. . . .

Or maybe black men could, you know, stop assuming everything black women feel comes from a place of mindless jealousy and general bitchiness and not our actual lived experiences?

“THANK YOU. That so many men — especially Black men — don’t seem to recognize that just as with any other race or gender, there’re some white women, and MANY of them, who do shady, or outright evil shit. And that denigrating Black women to defend some Black men’s choice of partners who, yeah, because of their skin color come with historical baggage — AS DOES EVERY HUMAN ON THIS PLANET — is wrong, cruel, and hypocritical. UNHELPFUL.

“In spite of full-knowledge of what the evil-er Mayosapiennes have done/continue to do — or have been/and still are in collusion with their male counterparts in leveling on BLACK WOMEN SPECIFICALLY — these Beckys get free-passes that no one else, be they Black women, Black men . . . Jeebus, himself — wouldn’t get.

“That doesn’t endear Black men, or any men who do that, to Black women. And it shouldn’t endear them to ANY women, because any man or anyONE who reduces your value to a skin color-fetish and some sort of “coming up in the world” is probably not a guy you’d want your daughter to pair-off with. So, then . . . why would you?

“The double standard of “he made it/came up/just fell in love,” but “she’s a gold-digger/is bougie/just can’t get a Black man” is ridiculous. It’s CRUEL and hurtful to the women who give and have given birth to, have struggled for and with, and will never stop supporting Black men.

“NEVER. Because these are our fathers, sons, husbands, brothers, friends. They are OURS, and we take care of our own out of love and because if we don’t, the world won’t jump in to take our place.

“Black women have NEVER stopped being here for their own. And never will. Even when it’s to the detriment of their own lives and goals and needs. So, it’d be really nice if Black men started being here — en masse — for Black women. And NOT just while those men are still so deep in the Struggle, no Mayosapienne would think of touching them.

“Thank you again, for your comments, which have helped me — and surely many others — clarify/form cohesive thoughts and viewpoints and experiences I’ve been struggling with for most of my life. I’d never really put any of this into words or been adequately able to before your comment.

“You don’t need MY measly star. YOU ARE ONE.”

Fight cognitive dissonances wherever you see them, whoever they come from, and whoever YOU are. PLEASE.

But Black men, specifically: When you denigrate Black women (and I know, I know, it’s not ALL of you . . . #Notallblackmen), you’re denigrating your mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends. And in this world, Black men have enough enemies without alienating their truest forever-supporters and nurturers. Black PEOPLE have enough enemies, period. So, if you can’t support and encourage your own, then at least be good enough to shut your mouth on your unhelpful, bigoted, unfair, untrue opinions. Marry your white wife and be content that YOU, at least, managed to not be ensnared by one of those dark-skinned harpies. You know, like your slightly-lighter daughter(s) will one day be.

. . . just a beetle with opinions and an internet connection. You’ve been warned.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store