So, I’m on my phone, in the Medium app. Dunno how to respond to the whole article yet--my Tech Fu is both laughable AND cryable--but all of this article and your replies. . . .

My hands and wrists are sore from all the clapping at your clapbacks.

This done-ness with white people and “allies" is the place I’m heading to, and fast. I needed some sort of external validation and assurance that one can be on this path with elegance, wit, poise, humor, and RIGHTEOUSNESS. Can be on it without spite or aimed meanness, but with earnestness and keenly applied experience and a grasp of history and psychology. White people have been THE WORST thing to happen to non-white people AND to other white people. Anyone waiting for help or kindness or justice from them is, among other things, not so good with patterns or extrapolation and doomed to disappoinment and despair. So, I’m done with being angry at white people for white people-ing. It’s like being angry at/hurt by/appealing to a Flu virus for making me feverish and weak. It’s just doing what it does. (Though flu viruses are not malicious, I suppose and many white people certainly are.) And I tend to think that, like so many white people, were flu viruses aware of their effect on the world-at-large, they would neither care nor substantively, sincerely attempt to change.

Because flu viruses gonna flu, and that’s that. Using reason or pleadig for empathy is pointless. Giving them any more power than they’ve already taken helps the ravaged body not at all.

::shrug::

Anywho, THANK YOU. I’ve been struggling with balancing this Pollyanna-ish instinct I’ve held onto for my whole life to appeal to wypipo’s basic humanity (my thumbs just rolled their eyes so hard they got whiplash), and my need to not give oppressors, colonizers, and destroyers even more say or power or destructive capability than the world already has. And I’m just . . . Done. Done With Balancing. Done With Cognitive Dissonance. With the underinformed and underempathized opinions opinions of “allies.” With their precious discomfort on racial matters and injustices at the cost of OUR LIVES AND OUR CHLDREN’S LIVES.

Even these so-called “allies” are only but so WOKE/WAKING. And counting on a fish’s ability to fly only confuses and annoys the fish, and depresses/stresses ME the eff out. Better to not rely on the understanding, kindness, and fairness of those who, traditionally, rarely display any of that and don’t, as the long-dominant segment of humanity, feel much need to/cause to/benefit from doing so.

They have no skin in the game and I’m tired of expecting them to even be present at the matches. They’re not even in the locker room, let alone on the sidelines or the actual field.

The power/responsibility/Struggle is OURS and has to be. Always and vigilantly, or else we’ll be forever waiting for a day--the day white people see us as fully human and then, themselves, display some humanity — that will NEVER come.

Thank you for helping me realize and articlate this to myself, and for likely doing the same for many others. I hope that those struggling for the same inspiration and enlightenment--and also, your many melanin-deficient “fans” — keep up the claps and clicks. You deserve (the beneficial results of) them :-)

Oh, BTW, was linked to this seminal article from TheRoot.com, in a recent article regarding Sterling Brown’s detention by cops who used excessive force, lied about it, then were proven liars by the bodycam footage . . . Which was released four months later.

Following you, and looking forward to more excellent writing and enlightenment!

. . . just a beetle with opinions and an internet connection. You’ve been warned.

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