SO WELL SAID! It seems to be a trend, now--well, a more visible trend, of couching TOXIC judgment and straight-Otherizing, as "concern." Even never minding that that person could be fine with how they look and who they are.

And, who REALLY thinks "you're fat and ugly and lazy" is going to motivate anyone to do anything positive or feel like they can? Does anyone, really? Nah. Most people recognize that cutting people down doesn't help anyone involved. It gets no one nowhere. But the cruelty is the point, as well as being able to get away with being an evil asshat to someone who supposedly can't fight back or doesn't have a right to stand up for themselves. "Fat, Black women" always have targets on them when ANYONE wants someone to step on.

Easy pickings for cruelty because society, including Black folks of any gender, have been programmed to undervalue Black women, when it values them at all. White supremacy be puttin' in WORK and livin' rent-free in EVERYBODY'S BRAINS, at one point or another. For whole, entire lives, even. That's what makes it so pernicious and dangerous and disheartening.

This piece hit me in my heart and soul because like-understanding calls to like-understanding. Thank you for saying a truth that so many of know, feel, and live/struggle with, so damned well.