SO WELL SAID! It's painful not when a person is a stranger to an experience, historical or current or both. It's painful when that person refuses to take it seriously and invalidates the harm born of and attached to it. OF COURSE, humans can and do and should poke fun at their own ignorance but they shouldn't use subject matter that is real and painful--and NOT THEIRS--which is a part of someone's past, present, and future. That Tiktoker wouldn't have taken that same "quirky" tone had she had the same ignorance around an act of SA then found out she'd been wrong to want to experience it. She would have taken a serious tone or more likely, not addressed her own ignorant former appetite for that experience. If she could get away with glossing over that.

There's nothing wrong with not knowing everything, though it behooves us to certain of what we advocate for or claim to want, and BEFORE we gush about it on a platform. And it's admirable to admit when we've been wrong and apologize where appropriate. But to devalue the experiences of others as part of poking fun at our ignorance is unnecessary and cruel. It doesn't win friends and influence people who aren't apt to do the same. No one should have to have it explained that turning another's tragedy into a joke about YOU is the opposite of empathy and decency, as well as being immature beyond childishness. That said ... I'm glad her brazenness about hiding her lack of basic human empathy urged her to show us what she's about. Water finds its level and those who stick with her are exactly her level. Those who drift away ... are at least bothered by someone who finds it necessary to turn the pain of millions of others into a joke about herself, and at the expense of those millions of others. There are ways to be humorous around the more tragic events in human history but ... what she did ain't it. I'm actually glad people of her ilk show their colors so plainly. I, for one, like to see them coming from miles away so I can take a detour as soon as possible. So, I say: Let those red flags fly, people! Let 'em catch in the wind! Give us all PLENTY of warning and keep showing us who you are. We believe you.

Thank you for this article. It's just a shame that it still needs to be said and the reminders to be given.