THANK YOU FOR THIS!
I’m agender and ace/aro, myself (AFAB). When I tell people, no matter their ethnicity or color, they seem baffled, and I think me being Black throws their radar (or gaydar) off. Even when I’ve presented them with HUGE hints and evidence. I legit HATE when people touch me and I hate having to touch people. That alone should be a big clue that I’m not going to be big on sexual touches from others. And I’ve frequently mentioned that I’ve never had a long-term relationship and that the idea of it seems laughable to me, and odd. That while romance is entertaining to read about, it’s not a thing I’ve ever really felt.
They find it weirder, still that an asexual can have a libido (if a sporadic one) and that while I’m not attracted to others and don’t want them touching me in ANY way, my body still has needs. Needs which can easily be satisfied without the nuisance-squick of a second person making physical contact.
This seems to be a sticking point for a lot of non-aces. I don’t see that it’s so difficult to wrap one’s head around. Have an itch? Scratch it with as minimal fuss as possible — limit the number of moving parts and tighten those logistics, as it were.
The fact that non-Black people don’t get that Black people ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WAY, is exasperating and increasingly enraging. We have facets and rationales besides whatever stereotypes and expected coonery abounds in the non-Black imagination.
Black aces and aros . . . UNITE.