This is not rage, but pain. MY PAIN looks/feels like having to repeat things to “friends,” ad nauseam, of which common human decency should inform them.

Another reply to the previously-mentioned friend. Let this stand to ALL my friends, if they find themselves at odds with my tone and terms. IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU. NEITHER IN SUBJECT NOR DIRECTION NOR INTENTION. MY PAIN/SUFFERING AND THAT OF POCS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

Why would that [liberals as the “enemy”] be what I prefer? I don’t like having enemies, especially when I consider them friends. But you’re proving my point that liberals fall down when they make POCs truths about “seeing libs as enemies.” Do you really think that’s ANY POCs ultimate goal in life? Really? That sort of self-focused thinking is either the height of arrogance or the nadir of paranoia. Or both. Seriously. It’s not about “you” (libs) or making you into enemies/martyring you.

And that’s it, in a nutshell. What I prefer is that liberals not make the fight for equality and POCs telling their truths about liberals and their feelings. If libs don’t like POCs tones, or the bitterness we UNDERSTANDABLY feel because of living our lives being limited by our skin and suffering for it — seeing our children getting hurt and killed for it — then they can feel free to divest from the Movement as much or as little as they like. If they can’t accept that their feelings DO NOT enter into this and are not paramount, then they don’t have to invest their time or support. If that’s as far as their support/allyship goes, then it doesn’t go far at all.

That sentence that bothered you is TRUTH as many POCs see it. It may not be YOUR truth, or the truth of white liberals, but it is OUR truth, whether you accept it or not, like it or not, acknowledge it or not. That’s MY point. You don’t have to agree or accept my take/POV on white liberals, because our differing POVs haven’t been informed by similar experiences AT ALL. I understand that. I’m not invalidating your truth or experience. I just ask that you not invalidate mine and someone else’s by making it about something as petty and far from the point (i.e., liberals not walking their talk) as it is possible to be. Everyone has opinions. Reasons. Experiences that color who they are, what they say, how they feel, and what they do. Reasons don’t excuse bad behavior, of course, just explain it. And POCs have seen liberals engage in some VERY bad behavior. And many of us DON’T trust them with good reason. We’re not trying to make them the enemy. We’re wondering why THEY are making THEMSELVES the enemy. And kissing Nazis shills is the tip of the iceberg. If this is what some liberals feel free to do when the camera is on them and the eye of the world is on them, then what must they do behind our backs?

We’re NOT trying to make enemies. But we won’t continue to trust people who can’t do better than smooching Nazis on television. We won’t accept fake empathy/support anymore. And we won’t accept people who show — at best — CONDITIONAL support that’s contingent on our politeness and us putting liberal butt-hurt above our own safety, quality of life, and interests. Do you get that? CAN YOU? Like, seriously? I’m not trying to insult, but understand, because there is clearly disconnect between us and that’s not good. I can’t understand how you’re reading whatever it is you’re reading into my — expression of disgust and pain over hypocrisy that SOME liberals display — reply, rather than what I’m actually saying. How is my truth insulting or evasive of your question (“why is this guy making an enemy of libs?” Answer: He’s not, he’s speaking his truth and some liberals are taking umbrage at his honesty and experiences)? All I’m being is honest. I am UPSET that in the horrorshow that is America, your complaint is that someone is making libs angry. That THAT is your takeaway from what I’m trying so sincerely and plainly to articulate. I’m showing you what hurts and how — being honest with you because I trust you to understand that is ALL I’m being. And to, even if you don’t agree, maybe say: “I hear ya. I see what you’re saying/how you’re feeling.” But it seems, to me, as if you’re stepping over that to cherry-pick what’s relevant to your interests. Which doesn’t not appear in any way to be the truth of my experiences. (This sort of gaslighting/situational deafness happens to POCs a LOT. We recognize it VERY quickly. We know the feel of it by heart, in a nearly literal sense. And that’s how your comments are coming across to me. No shade. No anger, even, because I’m kinda too hurt, at the moment, to be angry. I’m shouting: “PAIN!” and you’re replying: “TONE!”)

So, there’s another rant. One into which you are, of course, free to read whatever you choose. But the bottom line to the point you feel I haven’t answered is this: It’s not about white or any other color of liberal’s butt-hurt. It’s about supporting equality no matter how insulted my terms or tone may make you feel. Because liberal butt-hurt and particularity is NOT my priority. Liberal appeasement and ass-kissing is NOT my priority. If the best a liberal can do is not hear me at all and reduce MY pain to THEIR OWN selfish feelings because the mean, angry black person said mean, angry (true) words . . . then that so-called liberal is NOT my priority. The lives and safety and leveling of the playing field for people who look like me and suffer like me, are MY priority. My priority is EQUALITY, at the end of the day. It’s my WHY/RAISON D’ETRE. Not hurting feelings or making enemies. Not soothing ruffled feathers that would not have been ruffled, had their bearer shifted their focus from themselves, for a few moments. Equality. It’s all that matters. End of story, and no liberal butt-hurt required as long as there’s even a minimal shift in POV. Ain’t nobody got time to be worried about liberals, or the appeasement, mollification, or even insulting thereof. Few enough libs take the time to worry about US beyond voting-season, anyway.

I’m just a bug with progressive values, strident opinions, and Interwebz. Black, ace/aro, a-gender, A-spec, ADHD. Âû. A-awesome. You’ve been warned.